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Help from My Friends

Or, How Not to Be So Stupid

Scripture: Selected Scriptures

Date: October 21, 2012

Speaker: Sean Higgins

Jesus could have made our job a lot easier. All He needed to do was tweak His commission just a little. He didn’t need to abandon the whole thing, just make a minor adjustment. If only He would have said something like,

As you are going, make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them and teaching them everything I said.

That’s really close to what He said in Matthew 28:18-20. And if that was all He said I think we Christians would get less grief. We can dunk people under water, that’s no big deal. And it’s not too horribly difficult to tell other people the things that Jesus taught, especially if just telling them was the only thing involved. We can talk us some about Jesus. We can write books about Jesus. We can design web pages and make podcasts and copy and paste verses into Facebook and get His message out. That’s relatively easy.

But that isn’t exactly what Jesus said. Jesus didn’t say to teach people what He said. He commissioned us to teach them to observe all that I have commanded you. Making disciples is about more than acquainting people with the gospel, it is training them to live it.

I recently heard a good illustration for the Great Commission that shows the differences. If I told my oldest daughter to go clean her room and she came back a couple hours later and says, “Dad, I memorized what you said about cleaning my room,” is that obedience? Or, if she said, “I called some friends and we’re getting together tonight to study what you said about cleaning my room,” wouldn’t you encourage her that study isn’t enough?

Those who believe Christ are called to obey Him. Those who believe the gospel are also called to live worthy of it.

Philippians 1:27 Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ

Manner of life is just a figurative expression for a person’s conduct or pattern of life, their “walk.” The Greek word for worthy is connected to the idea of a balanced scale, indicating things that are equal in worth; they are commensurate. Every believer is obligated to live and walk worthy of the gospel. This worthy walk is not just for our private pursuit, it is our Lord’s commission: to teach people in all the nations to observe everything He commanded.

For both of these things, personal obedience and teaching others to obey, we will give an answer. In other words, we are accountable.

Accountability has gotten much bad press* lately. It is almost a dirty word. As I was looking around the Internet doing research on accountability a few years ago and I saw one sight that refused to spell out the entire word, putting fourteen dashes after the A- and that was it. If the little research I did represents the prevailing attitude, then many professing Christians do not want to be held accountable to anything by anyone.

We cross to the other side of the street when we see accountability coming. Why? We’re not wired to ask someone else to troubleshoot our system or encourage them to keep us in line. We do everything we can to avoid accountability even though there are great dangers in isolation. Solomon said that the person who isolates himself “rages” (NKJV) and “breaks out” (ESV) against all sound wisdom (Proverbs 18:1).

I guess maybe those people had a bad church experience with in some overbearing, harsh authority figure. It is true that hypocritical, impatient, unkind, judgmental, self-righteous, legalistic, prejudicial, and/or ignorant accountability is no good. Job’s friends were wrong as they held Job accountable, and they just got meaner as the story went on. But accountability does not equal judgmentalism and those who hold others accountable are not by definition arrogant, overbearing, big-headed, spiritually abusive jerks .

Accountability shouldn’t cause us to hyperventilate. As we’re in a short series considering the Life to Life (and life to life) elements of our church, this morning we’re going to think about accountability in our community pursuit of holiness, so that we would embrace the personal benefits of accountability (as it helps us to observe all Jesus’ commands) and so that we would be equipped to explain those benefits to others (so that they will observe all Jesus’ commands).

A Definition of Accountability

Accountability is “giving account” or “giving an answer.” You are accountable when you are required or expected to justify your actions or decisions.

Schools are accountable to parents to educate their kids. Teachers and administration must be able to justify their decisions. Banks are accountable to their investors. They are liable for the money handed over for them to protect. “Accounting” involves keeping a record of what dollars are coming in and from where, and what dollars are going out and where. Employees are accountable to their employer. What they do is a reflection on their boss and the organization. Players are accountable to their coach and to their fellow teammates. What they do impacts the larger group.

Spiritual accountability is another way to say that there are certain expectations (namely to walk worthy of the gospel and worthy of the Lord) in the Christian life. Therefore we are required to give an account, to answer for our decisions and our actions. The final account is to God Himself and in the meantime He has provided a check-and-balance system in the church to keep the individual members safe as well as cause them to grow stronger.

Three Levels of Our Accountability to God

The prepositional phrase at the end is very intentional. There is a sense of subordinate accountability to fellow human beings, and we’ll see that in the last two levels. But our ultimate accountability is to God. Answering to one another is part of His plan, but only as we are helping one another prepare to answer to God.

This is information you need to have. There is no one in our culture, no movie, no music, no Facebook page you can Like promoting accountability. Justin Bieber, and his life-size poster hanging in your room, won’t. Like I said, if we’re going to observe everything Jesus commanded, then accountability is essential.

1. PERSONAL - We are accountable to God Himself.

This is the ultimate and most direct level of accountability. Every one of us will answer to God. No one—except Jesus for those of us who are believers—stands between us and Him.

In Romans 14 Paul gives instructions on not holding one another accountable for superficial, legalistic things. He is not removing our responsibility to help each other in the pursuit of holiness, but he is reminding us that holiness is the primary issue, not secondary issues like valuing some days being more important than others, etc.

Romans 14:12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.

And the writer of Hebrews encourages his readers toward obedience that comes from grace, because,

Hebrews 4:13 no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

The same verse is translated in the KJV as “but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.” For true believers, though we can’t lose our salvation, we will receive God’s discipline and chastisement if we fail to pursue holiness. Of course, that might be through another person’s rebuke or through some other means, but the pursuit of holy living is paramount.

Accountability to God provides motivation for accountability to others. It is worse to try and hide your sin from God than from another person. When we ask for prayer, ask for advice, share our burdens and struggles, we are asking others to help us so that when we give an answer to God it will be a good one. Accountability with others helps us be most ready before God.

2. PASTORAL - We are accountable to spiritual leaders.

Though it isn’t part of the three levels I’m talking about here, obviously there is parental accountability. Every child is answerable to his parents. We are also accountable to government, both national and local. But we’re working to make a case for the importance of accountability in local body relationships. So as God has given parents authority over their children, likewise, God has put spiritual authorities in the lives of His children.

For example, there are passages that address the sheep and their accountability to their shepherds.

Hebrews 13:17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.

The sheep are to listen, heed, and follow the shepherd(s). They are to respect and obey and submit to their pastors. God gives overseers to His church to feed and protect the sheep and they are responsible to follow.

Part of the reason we are accountable to our pastors is because our pastors are accountable to God for us (Hebrews 13:17). And there is much at stake, as we pastors are stewards of a very precious people. (Acts 20:28)

Pastors bear a peculiar burden to teach others to observe everything that Jesus commands. This this is no new accountability that sheep have to shepherds, or that shepherds have to God. Consider the prophets in the OT, such as Ezekiel 3:16-21, or Ezekiel 33:1-9, 34:1-6, 16.

All of us in positions of spiritual leadership, whether as pastors, or by extension those who teach Bible studies and lead small groups and make disciples, will give an account to God. And though we can’t make anyone do anything, we are responsible to urge the sheep to live worthy of the gospel and worthy of Christ and the sheep are accountable to listen and obey.

3. MUTUAL - We are accountable to one another.

So we are accountable to spiritual leaders and now we’ll see that we have accountability to, and from, spiritual friends. We have responsibilities to our authorities and to one another. This is the level of mutual accountability.

The New Testament is filled with obligations we have toward one another. For example, as Paul transitions from our personal responsibility to walk in the Spirit and not in the desires of the flesh at the end of Galatians chapter 5, what if we see a fellow brother or sister not walking in the Spirit?

Galatians 6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

There is no room for arrogant, unkind, impatient accountability. But there is also no room for silence, indifference, or inaction when it is appropriate. Sin is serious. The sin of a Christian reflects on Christ, it steals personal joy, and if a person persists in a pattern of sin, there is reason to suspect their eternal destiny.

1 Thessalonians 5:14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.

Admonish. Encourage. Help. These are all very messy things. They are viewed by some as meddling. But we are to rebuke the lazy and slothful. We are to stir up the timid and nervous. We are to aid the feeble and tired, and this is all toward the goal of helping them observe everything Jesus commanded.

Hebrews 3:13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

If you can’t be trusted to know yourself truly, and you keep others from knowing you, how will you avoid being deceived? We need daily intervention. If the only view you have of yourself is your own, you really should get a second opinion.

Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

James 5:19 My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, 20 let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

It is not loving to leave someone in their sin. Unconditional love is demonstrated when you confront and get rejected and mocked. Not confronting when it is necessary is conditional love, on the presumed condition that they will respond negatively. Failure to confront at that point is really love of self.

And for those of us on the receiving side, we must not forget that hating correction is stupid.

Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. (Proverbs 12:1, ESV)

The Hebrew word translated “stupid” means to be brutish, bull-headed. Bullheaded people can be found on every level, among leaders and followers.

You know why I know that you need to hear this? Because I need to obey it. You know who needs to confess sin and pursue relationships, not just define sin and talk about people? You know who needs to be more Christ like, not just know more what Christ is like? Do you know who tends to be stupid, who has a hard time listening to others, let alone receiving correction? Me.

You want to know how not to be so stupid (like me)? Then discipline yourself to get with other people enough to let them correct you.

Elders are accountable to people they elder. We’re not asking anyone to do what we’re not opening up ourselves to. Elders are not outside or above the ministry of the body of Christ. Pastors are some of the worst at privatizing faith, digging mile-wide moats around their souls. Exposing one’s life to others may enable haters to hate, but it will also keep a man from being stupid.

Mutual accountability is there for a reason: to help us walk worthy of the gospel of Christ.

CONCLUSION

Still there are those who want nothing to do with accountability. I guess they don’t want the protection. But I’ve never heard anyone complain about guardrails as they navigate narrow, windy mountain roads that keep cars from slipping over the steep cliffs. So what if the car gets banged up, at least they have their life. God-given accountability is like protective guardrails.

But even more than protection, accountability helps us glorify God more. A lot of people seek out financial input/counsel (accountability) in their investments. They do research to find the best of the best, counselors that can help them get the most out of their money. They listen to their advisor, buying some stocks and selling others to get maximum gain. They are willing to put up with a lot in hopes of getting a lot. Perhaps our problem is that we aren’t willing to put up with much spiritual input because we don’t care about much holiness. We aren’t interested in learning how to invest ourselves to give maximum glory. We’ve got access to our parents, pastors, and friends to help us toward holiness for God’s name sake, but I guess the pay-off isn’t high enough for us.

”A Little Help from My Friends” lyrics by Joe Cocker from The Beatles:

What would you do if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
And I’ll try not to sing out of key.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

”Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). And “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6), especially when they help us walk worth of the gospel. Sometimes “we,” the friends, get it wrong. So be a faithful friend back.

Jesus didn’t commission us to train parrots who can repeat what He said. He commissioned us to make disciples who will obey what He said. That’s a community project.

See more sermons from the Life to Life Groups series.