Mothers

Automated transcript of the sermon audio, generated with OpenAI Whisper (small.en). It has not been checked against the recording and may contain errors, especially in names and Scripture references.

Father, thank you for our mothers. Thank you that I get to speak to them. Pray that your word would convict, encourage, strengthen them in their work. And may you give me clarity as I speak and help me to communicate that in a way that is profitable for the souls of our mothers. And pray this in Jesus’ name, amen. Being a mother is hard work. Some of you might be thinking, huh, but you don’t understand. And I could agree, but I’m not a mother. Jonathan last taught us about the father’s role. And before I get into talking about mothers, I wanted to share some thoughts on fathers from my own experience that I think would be applicable to what I’m going to share tonight.

I was a husband and father who failed at being present and available in my own household. When the Lord interrupted my life, it put my world upside down in a good way. But five years before that, if you watched family videos of my youngest daughter, Caitlin, the first five years you would see Jolie doing a lot of the work and spending time with Caitlin. And I would be found on my computer studying and researching all that I could on fantasy football. Yeah, what I should have been doing is cultivating a productive household and my leadership. I am still haunted by my response when Jolie asked for help because she was struggling as a young Christian mom and I told her I would to pray about it. I didn’t tell her I would pray. I told her to pray about it.

I was ignorant of my role as a father and was not showing up in a way that my family needed me to as a man of the house. I bring this up because fathers must understand that the household and everything under their roof falls on their shoulders. If your wife is not fulfilling her role as a mother, that is your problem. It is your responsibility to have a vision for your home and how that works out. You must be intentional and purposeful in helping your wife grow into the mother. God has called her to be in your home. There are ways you can help move that forward and there are ways that you can sink the ship. And for our mothers, even if your husband is checked out and absent, you’re responsible for how you show up in your household.

I say this because I know the struggle mothers can have when their husband is neglecting their responsibilities. But even in that situation, it is a sin to use your husband’s lack of leadership to excuse your own obedience to all that Jesus has commanded you. Mothers are responsible for their kingdom living here and now. Psalm 113 tells us, God has delivered you from the domain of darkness and transferred you to the kingdom of his beloved son. Being in Christ’s kingdom changes how you live today. Tonight we will look at Titus 2 verses 3 through 5 which gives us instructions on what it means to live in his kingdom.

I believe what Paul says here will be a help and an encouragement to you in your role as mothers in your household responsibilities. Regardless of your age, there is something here for you to take away and apply. I hope that God will use our time tonight to strengthen you to be godly and growing and to prepare you for whatever he has for you in your household and even with the other women in our congregation. Please open your Bibles to Titus 2. Let’s Let’s read verses 3-5 together. “‘Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanders or slaves to much wine.

They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands that the word of God may not be reviled.’” instructed Titus in the beginning of chapter 2 that he must teach what accords with sound doctrine. It is sound doctrine that promotes the spiritual health within the church. It is a teaching that requires constant conduct consistent with the teaching professed. Correct doctrine must lead to godly and growing character. For those who belong to God, his truth is character building. Truth apply changes how you show up in your household and in this congregation.

I want to believe one scripture meditated on and applied is far better than reading the whole Bible in a year. Many people read the Bible but we are called to actually apply that to our hearts and to show up with that. Most of us can get a hundred percent on the fundamentals of the faith. How do you know that you understand truth to the degree that you are living it out where God has you. All that to say a mother’s called a spiritual motherhood starts with godly and growing character. Paul instructs the older women in create to be reverent in behavior. Beyond the gifts and talents that these women have in the church what Paul is most concerned with is their character in their homes. Older women are a gift to the younger women. What is not a gift is the older women who Paul tells Timothy and 1 Timothy 5 13 about. They are idlers going about from house to house and not only idlers but also gossips and busy bodies saying what they should not. An idle person is one who avoids work and usually spends their time doing nothing productive or

fruitful. A gossip has casual or unconstrained conversations or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. And a busybody is more of a meddling person who is too interested in things that do not involve them. Have you ever considered where you are tempted by these things? These days you don’t have to drive far in your car, you can just pull out your device in your pocket. The idea of spiritual motherhood is more about the older women who have throughout her lives and households, applied scripture, and worked through many often difficult life experiences. Husbands and children can often be a struggle to love.

She has learned to overcome evil with good. She has a heart that has practiced forgiveness with those in her household. She is known for her self-control rather than giving her emotions and feelings away and letting the horse run wild. She knows the challenges of yielding to her authority. She has practiced patience and trust in her husband taking the will. She has anchored her soul to God’s truth in all that Jesus has commanded. She puts on display a life of faithfulness that is worthy of imitation. And this is the importance of character. Godly and growing character is worth imitating. That is what the next generation needs from our older women.

It is a life that accords with sound doctrine, and the purpose of this kind of life is so that they can teach what is good and to train the younger women. God never intended the young women of our lives to make their own path towards motherhood, but to imitate those who went before them. Titus 2 is about transferring a godly life from one generation to the next. To put it in another way, what kind of example are you living before those watching, And is it worth imitating? Do you want your children or grandchildren to imitate your faith and character? How many of us know the difficulties of not having spiritual models?

As grandparents and parents, we can break those chains for the next generation. There are seven characteristics that the older women are to teach and train the younger women in. They are to be lovers of husbands, lovers of children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands. Let’s break these down one at a time. Lovers of husbands. I imagine for some younger ladies, this might be like, why this verse? They are waiting for their knight in shining armor to come swoop them up forever. She says, I love you. He says it back and they get married and live happily ever after or the story goes.

This is where an older woman who has endured and persevered through the ups and downs of marriage can help. What happens when your husband has a vision or plans different from what you envisioned for your life and home? What about when you get out of step with your husband? Perhaps you were doing a good job climbing the corporate ladder and he asked you to quit your job and come be a stay-home mom. chores are piling up, his work is busy, you’re alone in the mess of your responsibilities. Now I had children, dogs, chickens, and all the possible situation centers can get into and that is where it comes hard to love your your husband and your your children. Older women are to teach and train them to love their husbands. Literally husband lovers includes things like understanding what it means to respect him, how to cultivate a cheerful and thankful home, providing him with meals, delighting and making love.

Obviously, each wife would need to study and learn about her own husband and how this would work out in their household. There are also called to be lovers of children. There are many reasons why it can become difficult to love your children. The main reason is you’re a sinner. I mean, it’s fun being pregnant, but then real life starts after birth. There is not much that will push you to the edge of mothering like mothering can. Mothering will sanctify you like nothing else. The reason why Titus commands the older women to teach and train the younger is that they get it and understand the difficulties of motherhood.

God has equipped the older women in such a way to build up the younger mothers. I remember the first time I sent Jolie off for a weekend with her sisters to enjoy a relaxing time away from her household duties. It was then that I learned there might not be a more difficult job than being a stay-at-home mom. Sometimes it is hard to discern what caring your cross might look like, but that is not the case with being a mother. Mothers must talk with their husbands about the challenges and struggles they are working through. Here is where she needs to let her husband lead and help her. The role of raising children is the highest calling in life and the most significant work a father or mother will do.

Older women are to teach and train the younger mothers to love their children, literally children lovers, because the days are not easy. Fruitfulness in your home requires constant attention. There is a daily death required for loving your children. Mothers learn to see your children as a blessing rather than a burden. to cultivate a heart of peace towards your children. Often times when you get frustrated with your children, if you are not at peace, kind of what Sean’s been talking about, it will cause you problems and you will learn to not love your children. You will see them as an enemy. You need to study them daily and seek to understand their heart and frame, bring them up in an instruction and discipline of the Lord.

Your children also need to see you respect their father. would include submitting to His leadership. When it comes to loving your husband and children, consider the following questions. How are you praying for your husband and children when things are difficult and they will be? Like, the first thing you should be going to is prayer. Asking God for help for you to show up so you can make a difference in the home that would impact them in a positive way. How are you limiting the fruitfulness of your husband and children? In other words, are you holding them back from bearing more fruit in their lives? And how is your gratitude in the home?

These are certainly ways that would help you be more loving towards your husband and children. The next characteristic that he talks about is to be self-controlled. A self-controlled mother is like a sanctified Cinderella. She knows how to control her emotions while still showing up in her calling as a mother. She is willing to do the work before her without grumbling and complaining. When her people are thankless, she finds a way to show gratitude. A mother should find time to be disciplined in the word and prayer. It doesn’t need to be a two hours of quiet time. It could be as small as reading 1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 8a, thinking about your love in the home.

This would be something she could figure out with her husband’s help in terms of finding that time. Maybe he can provide her with time in the day to pray and read, but sometimes life is busy and it just doesn’t happen. No matter what the circumstances, a mother should be working towards being disciplined in her prayers and Bible intake. However that happens. The idea is that there is no better place to get God’s wisdom and strength than through prayer and Bible reading. It would strengthen her to lead her household better and in a way that would please God. Consider Proverbs 3, 5, and 6 which says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your past. Be not wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Whenever you are in your day, you can always include God in your choices and actions.

to have self-control in the things you cannot have anything to do with, meaning if you can’t control what’s going to happen, just let it go. And practice it when you can actually make a choice that would help out the situation. So in your world, if you can do something that will make it better, do it. If it’s something that’s out of your control, don’t even worry about it. Let God deal with that. The next characteristic he talks about is pure. Consider what you can do to be pure. Purity towards your marriage bed, guard your heart for your husband. Purity of what you’re thinking about. So not just towards your husband but like you’re thinking. A negative attitude is a forest fire that will destroy your household. How you think about your people and your household matters. A couple of verses to think about would be Philippians 4-8. Finally brother, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

I remember a time when I struggled with negative thoughts towards my wife. I don’t know where they came from, but I was bothered by it. I started to remind myself why I was thankful for her, and eventually my thoughts turned pure towards her. Was it easy? No. Was it a fight? Yes. And this kind of thinking will have a huge impact on your home and your relationships. You have to fight to have pure thoughts not only towards what your body but also towards your thinking. Another verse is 1 Peter 3, 3-6. Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord and you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Who knows the seeds the enemy might sow to in your thinking. He is out to destroy all that is good true and beautiful. Fighting for what is pure builds up your holiness and it is a worthwhile fight. The next characteristic is working at home. I don’t think that the scripture would have a problem with a woman working outside the home. My main concern is that when a mother works outside the home it can impact the household.

I do believe that Paul is saying, what Paul is saying is that women should be devoted to their homes first. The purpose of the older women teaching and training the younger women here is for their unique responsibilities at home. I’ve talked to Jolie about this very thing. I trust her and know that she is devoted to our household. There have been times that I have had to help her scale things back to make sure that the home remains the top priority of her responsibilities.

It also helps that we talk frequently about the condition of our home. I will say that if a husband lets, wants the wife to work outside the home, he needs to show up and give additional support and help with the household responsibilities. The next characteristic is kind. Paul seems to be going after the hard hair. I imagine with all the meals to make, laundry to do, diapers to change, bossy pants and fussy buckets, even the dishes that they leave in the sink, he doesn’t have to think how hard it is to be kind. I cannot help but think about 2 Timothy 2.24 while not dealing with mothering issues, I do believe it helps mothers in how they respond to their people. 2 Timothy 2.24-25, And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness, that God perhaps may grant him repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth.

God will work with kindness and he can change hearts through it. This is a way of bringing about repentance. Another way to fight for kindness is to be thankful. Usually we are kind to those we are thankful for. If you want the best for your household, you must put on kindness. And oftentimes that is a fight. Like, you know, when people, especially people are out of the sub with the spirit, but when people are not picking up their responsibilities and you’re having to do more, like, you can find many reasons not to be kind, but God wants you to be kind.

Submissive to their own husbands is the next characteristic. The best thing that a godly wife can do is to make sure that her husband is in the driver’s seat and has the freedom to make the best decision for the household. Obviously it would be a sin to go along with something that God has prohibited. I don’t know how all our men leave their homes, but God has given us our wives as they help me. It is good to have conversations about the decisions you are up against and thinking about with your household. Your wife will likely have a reasonable perspective and might give a different angle that you don’t have or have not even considered. Ultimately the husband is responsible for the decision. Even if he decides to go along with the wife’s thinking, he can’t and shouldn’t say I told you so, it’s on him. What is your attitude towards your husband, are you eager to follow his lead? If not, then why?

But let’s say that your husband is not saved, what do you do? Well, 1 Peter 3, 1 through 2 says, likewise, wives be subject to your own husband so that if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct. So So ultimately your conduct can change the frame of your home. So you never know. People profess and walk away all the time and sometimes your behavior can actually change the direction and encourage your family to walk towards holiness and away from it. It is God who has instituted the marriage between a man and a woman. The marriage between a man and a woman will say something to the children of that home, as well as the watching world.

The damage that is done by those who profess faith but deny God by their works has tragic effects all around. The grand story is about God in the Gospel of his Son. How are you playing your part in his kingdom? As a mother, could be a father, whatever your role is. What does it say to others when you have been saved from your sins but continue to walk in them? live in such a way that tells the world who and what your God is like. I like what John MacArthur said regarding this, whether they intend to be or not, Christians are living letters of Christ and sometimes are the only testimony to the Lord and his saving gospel that the world has. I want to finish by charging each of the ladies here to consider your character. Where do you need to grow so you can be full of wisdom as an older woman who can teach and train those is coming after you. And this is considering, like I said, characteristics in the home.

So like the main focus is as a mother, how are you working through your home responsibilities and your character growing there? Because that’s the Titus 2 model is about training the younger mothers in those things that the older actually have endured and gone through. mothers or even those who desire to someday have a husband or children, consider the older women whom you could reach out to for discipleship help. It’s never too early to start coming up underneath somebody else in their home, watching them. Sometimes you can learn more than what’s going on in your own household, but I mean both are great. You have a wealth of wisdom and insight that you can learn from. I also want to encourage all the mothers to be content where God has you in this season of life.

Oftentimes we could be thinking like, well, the diaper stage, and now we’ll get to like maybe the teenage stage or whatever. I mean, if you’re always looking to what’s coming instead of enjoying God where He has you, you’re going to miss out on a lot of blessing and fun times in life. Learn to acknowledge God wherever He has you. Find joy where He has you. It is easy to look and think that the grass is greener on the other side, but it really isn’t. And you would do yourself much blessings by just remaining content and patiently enduring where He has you. Give time to be thankful in all things. Practice being thankful when things are difficult and hard.

Take the teachings of Jesus Christ and apply them wherever you are. Pray for others. Pray for those in your home. Be patient and wait for God to act and enjoy the process. Often times, especially with mothers, you need to be patient with your children. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to get them to where you want them to be, but you need to endure and consider how you’re approaching it and consider talking with your husband and figuring out how you can help try to move the needle there. Lastly, learn to rest in God and all that He is doing in your life. Put confidence in God and trust Him with all the seeds that you have sown, all the work that you have done, all the work that’s still yet to be done.

Every day when you wake up, lose your life for the sake of Christ. Let’s pray. Father, thank You for the message. Pray that it was helpful. Help us as we talk about some questions that people may have. May you give wisdom and discretion there for just those discussion points and just pray you bless the time and that we would have a profitable discussion in Jesus’ name. Amen. So, yeah, what questions do any of you have? Like, I mean, mothering, like, yes, excuse me. Yeah, I thought about that. Yeah, I thought about that. The question is, what are the general or some weaknesses the mothers have in our congregation?

And so I think one would be maybe bothering people. Husbands don’t want to be bothered. Wives don’t want to bother. I mean, you would probably be better at this, helping your kid make a cake. But sometimes if the kid drops all the eggs, I’m not going through that again. So we’ll just not do that kind of training. But not bothering. I think maybe just grit, really digging in and trying to enjoy the process. I mean, I know mothering is hard. I’ve watched, we only have two daughters. So some of you all have a handful more than that. But I know that in certain seasons, it can be very challenging. And I think oftentimes, in one way or another, maybe the mothers grow wary of doing good.

Maybe more endurance would be the way I can word it. I don’t know if that lands well or not. But I know that that’s some struggles that Jolie has, and I’ve helped her work through. So are you saying that they’re a lot of people? Yeah, they don’t want to bother other people. So they would rather dig in and just do it, rather than ask somebody for help, whether that’s the husband. This isn’t the case for everybody, but I just think that, mom, especially if they’re strong-headed, they’re gonna wanna just try to take care of it themselves. And I think sometimes humbling themselves to put themselves under the husband’s leadership would be helpful.

And then also even reaching out to older mothers who can give wisdom and help. I mean sometimes I feel like it’s easy to just kind of paint the picture in a way that says I ain’t got problems, but I mean I think that if you really want to grow, you’re going to have to expose, the mother’s going to need to expose those problems so they can get help that’s needed. And maybe the husband can help, and maybe the husband knows of an older, wiser mother who could actually help. So. I don’t want to bother anybody because I got this. And then some are like, I need help all the time. Yeah, I mean, and that’s part of the grit side, you’re saying?

Yeah, the capacity, the grit, trying to be able to grow into other problems. Like, I mean, if you’re always flat on the floor after changing the nitrous, then how does your husband help you get it so you don’t fall down after changing the nitrous? So yeah, but I think that would be less of the issue and more of like we’re just growing wary of doing good or maybe, I don’t know if that makes any sense, but does that answer your question, Tim?

And then someone else over here said something, yeah, Jubal. So are you asking like for the husband, Like if you have a problem with your wife. Yeah. So if there’s things that I’ve seen with my wife, like, oh, that’s been noisy all the time, but I guess it really means that. Me like with her mothering or like just in general? Yeah, I don’t know, I can’t even just sit there. But I mean, how do you get as fathers and husbands dig into what we need? Things that were, before we start fighting, Well, I mean, I would say you can work on your responses when you’re dealing with that. Like how do you approach it? How do you encourage your wife?

How do you pray for her? I mean, oftentimes there’s times that Joy has a… If I have a concern, I’m usually going to pray about it. You know, I don’t really… Even with my kids, if they do something that’s annoying, but I can let it go in in a way that’s appropriate. I remember that though, so that way next time, like let’s say they’re cleaning their room, and they don’t clean underneath their bed. Everything’s shoved underneath there. Oh, great job cleaning the room, and then next time we’re gonna work on trying to, I’m gonna point out, like hey, let’s actually, not only clean the room, but let’s try to get underneath the bed too.

But I mean, yeah, because there are some things that, Because it’s not your responsibility to change your wife. You are to try to lead her. You’re trying to help her grow. I mean, you need to take responsibility in one way or another, however you try to get that, especially if it’s a sin. Because it is your responsibility to help her. So you can’t just say, hey, that’s your deal. You deal with it. You need to figure out how to come alongside of her. And maybe that’s getting another couple involved that may be older and wiser. Could be the elders. I mean, it could be trying to have her find somebody to disciple with that’s older that can help her with if she sees it and she wants help.

But maybe she doesn’t see that. Oh, OK. How do you know that you’re not the problem? Well, yeah, you could be the problem. I mean, and that can come out from having a discussion with her about the situation and trying to understand her where she’s coming from. But then asking her, because there are times when I’ve had to ask myself or even Joel, like, hey, maybe our girls are acting this way because of me. I’m doing this. And maybe that’s, like, well, one example would be after my brain bleed, I had a bad attitude. And that started seeping into my girls. And so I knew that. And it helped me crawl out of my hole.

I couldn’t stay there. And I didn’t want to stay there. I really got stuck. But at the end of the day, nothing encouraged me more than realizing that my bad example was actually impacting them negatively. And so I was even more fervently asking God for grace and help to get out of that, so that way I can show up be a better example for them. But in that case, I was the problem. So sometimes I’m not that one I was. Well, I think that the man being the head of the house means he’s responsible for that. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s also his fault. And so responsibility is different from fault. And so if he is seeing an area in his wife that needs growth or maturity, he is responsible to nourish and feed her in that.

And maybe it is some kind of covenantal consequence that he is doing something that is triggering a response in her that is also sinful. But not necessarily. I don’t think we need to wait to nourish and feed until we figure out what exactly we as the husband is doing. That could come out in that conversation, but responsibility is different than fault. So, yes, many of the times we are also the problem, as the husband and as the father. But whether or not we are, it’s still our responsibility to make sure our wives are growing, maturing, becoming more lonely in that way. But I think that those categories of responsibility in the fall are different, and that doesn’t indicate our responsibility.

It’s pretty likely that I’m telling her, you got houses and on fire, or your kids are happy, the dog is still alive. Basically, if nothing’s broke, dads check out, and husbands check out. So if all of those things were going well and I saw something that needed to be fixed, that would be a good time to not cry. But if everybody’s upset and mindful. Yeah, it’s a way to throw out there, at least your idea, and then to be told, that’s not gonna work, or I’ve been told that before.

Yes. So are you asking how you can best be encouraged to come alongside Jubal in those moments? Oh, praying’s good. I mean, you can always have a conversation. I mean, but, you know, don’t, I mean, trying to see how that works. Yeah, I mean, because, you know, there is a time when, and this could be wrong, but sometimes men don’t like to be pushed. Like, you know, if you keep digging and digging and digging, then you just end up really irritating them, which that’s a sin. I’m not saying that’s right. So how you approach it, I would say, especially if it’s something that gets them riled up, you may want to consider how you’re approaching it.

I know this is different, but with Jolie, there’s times that I’ve had to give her some space, but then I will continue, I’ll pursue it soon. you know, because if I don’t pursue it, I can go on forever. So I will pursue it because I want to keep short accounts and I want her and I to be in fellowship. And so usually, you know, sometimes working that out. But I mean, I do think that, you know, like Jubal being home might bring out some things that he hasn’t dealt with in a while because he’s probably used to being at work and busy. I mean, I know when I was at home from my medical vacation, it was really hard because like I wasn’t out I couldn’t do anything I couldn’t drive I couldn’t go to work I mean I’m sitting there like on you know stroke wash and like it wasn’t fun at all it’s like so it really like was a my own problem but sometimes I think Jubal needs to figure out how to you know communicate with you in a way that helps you understand him better than I don’t know it seems like that might be helpful.

Because sometimes if I’m not communicating right with Jolie or my daughters or other people, it irritates them. And so I’m trying to be very thinking about what am I trying to communicate and how am I communicating that? What is the, what am I going after? Does that even help?

Okay. I hope enough of that to communicate so we can decide on the same thing. Yeah. And a lot of times, because we all should be growing and more Godly upwards of the right. We’re a different person than we were two years ago. Yeah. Even from the old. And so as you’re progressing like that, you want to be progressing together. But sometimes, you know, it’s like this. This one realizes it way before you. The other one can’t figure out why you’d like to be about that. Communication has to always be. Yeah, communication is key. I mean, I agree. Like, if your communication’s off, you’re going to have a lot of problems.

And as you grow, like, I mean, I know, at least with Joel and I, we’re not the same people that we were when we first met each other. We’re like, we’re different states. You’re the same guy that you were years ago, right? No, I’m going to have it on the way. No, when you are pursuing the Lord, You’re going to grow. And sometimes you grow in ways that you just never imagined that you would grow. And then you’ve got to deal with that. But being understanding and flexible, I guess, is the one word I would use with couples. Even kids, it’s easy to get stuck with a five-year-old, right? You’re always thinking, then they’re 18, and well, they’re not five no more.

So you’re always needing to grow, kind of like Dave’s saying, in terms of your communicating, because people are always growing up. And then if you feel like it’s a checkbox, like it’s fixed, well then you’re just gonna have more problems because you’re not gonna be able to relate to the people that are in your life because you’re gonna be relating to them where they’ve already passed that. So trying to understand as they grow, understanding your people’s frame and conditions, And for me, I’m always asking my daughters about certain questions because I’m trying to gauge where needles are at. And I’m not going to guess.

But asking them questions brings that out so that way I can understand, oh, I’ll ask Joy because she can relate to my daughter’s better than I can because she’s a girl. It seems to me that in the text, it talks about your older women training younger women. And it doesn’t, so oftentimes I think of this word sometimes, I don’t feel like I have that much to offer. And, you know, but the text doesn’t qualify. I mean, the text doesn’t say older women who are qualified to train younger women. It’s just a blanket of older women training younger women. And likewise, younger women, part of all of our problems is we think we know what we’re doing, and so we generally don’t want help.

I mean, you think of teenagers who, you know, look at the older generation and think, my gosh, they have no idea what they’re doing. And why would I want any of them? And the same, but you see that a lot with first-time moms who want to know input into their babies and how they might raise their babies when they’re first-time moms. So I think that sense in which older women ought to be training younger women and younger women ought to be seeking that. I mean, it ought to be a two-way street, you know, the willingness to train really miss a two-piece trainer seems kind of key to that task. And that’s obviously not just for women, that’s for men too.

Yeah, I mean, I think that there’s a way for an older woman to, you know, push preferences that would probably not help out. I mean, I think, you know, sometimes, you know, people realize that some people may do things different than you. So I think that one thing that older women should be to remember is that, hey, like, There are other ways that people may do things, and I should be OK with that. But I do think I agree with you. Like, whether you’re, in regards to how old you are, the older saints, they have wisdom and insight that they can offer the younger ladies. And even at Titus 2, the older ones should be speaking up way more than the younger, because they have something to teach, and they’re commanded to teach and to train.

The younger, I mean, if Addison got up and spoke, I don’t think anyone’s going to want to listen. I mean, she’s too young. She doesn’t have that experience and the wisdom that an older lady has. But for her to sit underneath that, that’s a blessing. That is a gift to be able to understand how someone did something and use that in their life or they were able to grow.

And the Lord, it’s weird how the Lord will work things out because I wouldn’t be necessarily, especially for the younger ladies, I wouldn’t be picky about who’s going to disciple you. I had this issue years ago, and we’ve got Jeff, my buddy Jeff. He’s like, hey, I’ll disciple you. It wasn’t what I was thinking. I was like, I don’t know about this is what I was wanting. But God had aligned it to where we had so many similarities that it was actually a gift. He was way older. All my situations he had actually been through. You had only daughters, I had only daughters. We were both in grocery. I mean, you just, well, this kept on going.

But it taught me that sometimes you can put a celebrity status on the best persons who want to disciple me, where you can have someone like Barb Anderbeck, who would probably give you more wisdom than you can gain from a lot of the younger people. So I think that we should prize and cherish the younger saints in our body, because they have a lot to share. And the younger should be going to them and asking. How do you think if their wife isn’t that excited about it? Or doesn’t know how to make that connection? Or doesn’t see where it fit in the day? Or to seek out a little bit of those type of relationships? Well, I mean, for me, I can only go off of with Jolie.

I would be willing to adjust my schedule for her to make that happen, you know, because I think it’s important. So, and I would, I actually encourage it. Even my younger’s, which they don’t really, I mean, I think they struggle to see the value more in that than what I would see, but I mean. But Julie’s out there. She’s making a connection. So somebody who’s not. Someone that’s more introverted, or I don’t have experience with that. But, you know, maybe isn’t excited about making those connections, or, but it, but also see, like you see, Yeah, you see the need for that. I mean, I would probably start with why. Why are you not wanting to go meet with somebody, especially if they’re available, what’s keeping you from?

I’m just thinking, if it’s not happening enough, what are maybe some of the reasons why? Because it seems like, I mean, we have the two components. We have older, we have younger. This could get into the question that Kim was asking. I think sometimes ladies have a harder time. Maybe not. Maybe guys do too. I think women have more of a problem being vulnerable like that, where they’re afraid to raise their hand and say something, like, because they don’t want to look like they’re stupid. I don’t want it. And so that would be maybe too vulnerable for them to actually go and ask for help, because I think somehow maybe mothers just think that they want to act like they have it all together.

And maybe some of them do. But I think it’s just being vulnerable to ask for help, where I’ve learned real quick that asking for help is the best way to grow. If you’re not asking, you’re not going to learn anything because you just sit there like a bump on a log. But I do think for the people that are introverts who, they’re probably just afraid of being exposed, but that’s good. God will grow you in that. Yes, Gail? Just got saved. We’re newly saved. And we probably went to more than a half a dozen women our church over women asking to read the psychos. And no one would. I have nothing to offer, but what could I possibly give?

Or I’m too old. I’ve done that. Been there, done that. I’m done doing that. So I think that if a younger person comes and says, I’d like to meet with you, your first reaction shouldn’t be, I have nothing to offer them. And I think that, or I’ve been through that time of life. I’ve done my discipling, and now I’m done. So just as an admonition to the older people in the church, don’t be quick to say no. Yeah, I agree. I mean, I do think that if someone’s pursuing, because I agree with Dave. I think when you pursue it, usually they go anywhere. But if somebody’s asking for help, I think that should be encouragement to anybody, because they’re really wanting help.

And if they’re coming to you, more than likely, God has aligned that to where you actually do have something to offer them. Maybe you don’t know it, but as you get talk and sit down, I think that it will be evident. About Ian’s question about husbands, I would think it’s appropriate for the husband to talk to that woman’s husband and say, hey, what do you think about my wife meeting with your wife, how is your wife’s schedule? Are you okay with that? And instigating that conversation through that, I think that’s very much appropriate and maybe even more fitting that her just starting it off, especially if she’s uncomfortable about something.

Yeah, that’s a good one. And I was gonna come back to you anyways because I know if you got your question answered, but I do think that that would be helpful for the husband to maybe try to facilitate that. And maybe, I mean, I don’t know, sometimes it might be more helpful if it’s like older woman to younger, you know, the younger wife, but maybe sometimes couples can be a benefit too. Is that where you would be in, you know, the husband could be in the room with the couple having those conversations and interacting with his own wife. And maybe that would be encouraging to her because maybe that would have helped bring her out more in terms of that type of setting.

So, yeah, because I think it’s critical. But like Philip was saying, just taking ownership as a husband, we’re responsible for it. So yeah, maybe we can’t necessarily offer the solution from us and there’ll be all of information but facilitating that and even following the wisdom of the passage to help seek those connections and outside of yourselves. Yeah, I think that’s a good point. Erin? I think, too, to that question, Ian, about if you have a wife who is an introvert, she’s not super external, I think you taking responsibility, because your wife likely is being discipled by Instagram or whoever she’s following, or whatever book she’s reading.

It’s not like ladies are usually super not taking in information, even if it’s not face-to-face personally. So I think as a husband, you need to be making sure that you are on top of what she’s being discipled by. Who is she listening to, who is she following, and taking some ownership for directing some of that. So even if she’s not a super, I mean, whether because she doesn’t have time, because she’s got poodles in the house, or because she’s just not super inclined to get together with people all the time. There’s lots of, you know, resources. I mean, there’s good books that you can read together. I mean, it just means you, I think, have to take some initiative to actually, like, learn some things that maybe you’re not, like, super excited about.

But I think that is a lot of what husbanding is, is trying to figure out, how do I counsel my wife? to be a mom, how do I answer a question? I’m not a mom, I don’t know what that looks like, but I know what scripture says, and maybe I need to find some good books to read together, or podcasts, or whatever. There’s lots of non-personal coffee date options as well, but it requires some vetting and some help to find good ones and not ones that are leading from the wrong direction.

Yeah, what helped me a lot, kind of what we were saying with Kim and Dave was to read wife books. So I mean I never would have thought about it but I’ve read plenty of them even parenting books and they’re very encouraging because it allows me to get a perspective from basically like another mother who’s writing to mothers so I can understand you know what they’re talking about and then I can have something to talk to Joey about and ask him like hey how is this working because it does give you more hooks to put your hats on so I do think you know the mother has plenty of resources available and even the husband.

Were you going to say something Dave? Someone, Lila. What this church is doing with women is including the junior high in college. They had this absolutely wonderful mission that they had. That one might have her in junior high in high school. And included him in all the women. I just don’t know that. Yeah, I think, well, and that’s, well, ideally it’s because of the Titus too, But I mean, I know that a lot of churches prefer adult only, so like 18. But I think when the younger generation is included, there is a lot for them to glean from that and that opportunity to even rub shoulders with the older saints. I do both men to men and Titus too.

Well, then I will pray and we will call it a night. Father, thank you for this flock. Thank you for all the questions and thank you for all the interaction that we were able to have. And just pray that we will continue to seek you. May you strengthen us and help us to understand the people that we’re related to on another better level and even for husbands and wives and children as we’re growing in the faith, help us to kind of be able to keep a good perspective on our frames and conditions and just being able to find ways to continue to build each other up and strengthen each other up in your grace. And we just thank you for the sacrifice of your son, that he has paid for our sins and we have freedom to worship you and to obey you and all that you have commanded. And may you continue to help us do all those things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Well, then I will pray and we will call it a night. Father, thank you for this flock. Thank you for all the questions and thank you for all the interaction that we were able to have. And just pray that we will continue to seek you. May you strengthen us and help us to understand the people that we’re related to on another better level and even for husbands and wives and children as we’re growing in the faith, help us to kind of be able to keep a good perspective on our frames and conditions and just being able to find ways to continue to build each other up and strengthen each other up in your grace. And we just thank you for the sacrifice of your son, that he has paid for our sins and we have freedom to worship you and to obey you and all that you have commanded.