Watch Your Mouth

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Good evening tonight we Tonight we finish our sermon series and proverbs and before I do that. I am actually gonna pray so Father thank you for your word. Thank you for proverbs Thank you for the opportunity that we’ve had to get more wisdom from it through the year and just pray that this would be one that would still continue to encourage me and you would do what you please with it as I speak it and just thank you for the wisdom that you have given us help us to keep it and hold it and to do something with it and I pray that you would bless your word as it goes out in Jesus name amen so the title of my message is watch your mouth the theme I want to draw upon from Proverbs is communication wisdom words are a gift from God and while most of us and while While most of what I plan to talk about tonight deals with verbal communication, there are many forms of communication to engage in daily.

From our body language to facial expressions to the tone of our voice. And sometimes our actions speak louder than words, both in good and bad ways. Even our impatience, frustration, complaining, and nagging are ways to communicate to one another, sometimes with words and other times with growls and groanings. The main thing I want to get us to get is that the power, there’s power in the tongue. From a commentary that I found on James 3, 1 through 2, I found it very helpful, so I wanted to share it.

The quote, these verses provide a sobering picture of the tongue’s power, destructiveness and instability. Behind James’s treatment of this small member of the body is a theology that much human evil resides in the mouth. And more specifically, the widespread divisions caused by slander and cursing in the churches he addresses. Through one graphic illustration after another, James crafts a picture of the tongue that is meant to arrest attention, the descriptions being stated in the strongest terms. His treatment is a sober reminder that, to a great extent, the health of any church depends in part on the discipline with which her members are able to subdue this wildest of beasts.”

I couldn’t agree more with the statement that the health of any church depends in part of the discipline with which the members are able to subdue the tongue. If there is one thing I hope this word does, it has caused you to stop and consider your tongue not only with what fruit is coming out of your mouth but what you think, what you would think about what you could do to help improve the health of our body life here, or even your marriage or parenting or any relationships with how you use your mouth and even with the many various forms of communication available to you. Because when it comes to our mouths, we have unlimited power for good or evil.

Perhaps there is no easier way to sin than with your mouth. we can avoid sin because of lack of opportunity to pursue it, but when it comes to your mouth you have no limits to the evil you can pursue with your words. We have no limits, yeah, and at the same time we have the opportunity to use our words for good. Our words have power and they will either be life or death. Proverbs 18 20 through 21 says, from the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied. He is satisfied with the yield of his lips. Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Three things I gather from this passage are words are fruit. We will have a harvest and we will love to eat the fruit of your mouth. Matthew Henry says regarding verse 21, a man may do a great deal of good or a great deal of hurt both to others and to himself according to the use he makes of his tongue. Many a one has been his own death by a foul tongue or the death of others by a false tongue and on the contrary many a one has saved his own life or procured the comfort of it by a prudent gentle tongue and saved the lives of others by a seasonable testimony or intercession for them. And if by our words we must be justified or condemned, life, death and life are no doubt in the power of the tongue.” End quote. The words you use to impact others will impact you. People feed on words and that will influence their behavior. There are consequences, life or death, with the words we use. A husband will get fruit from encouraging his wife, just as he will get fruit from triggering his wife. In any and all

relationships who either have a tongue that is life-giving or life-taking. And as you speak you shall eat the fruit of it. If you speak life you will get life and if you speak death you will get death. Consider Proverbs 11 17 which says a man who is kind benefits himself but a cruel man hurts himself. This is how it goes with our words. The power of the tongue will bring life or death and to the extent that you use words to benefit or destroy others it will benefit or destroy you. As followers of Jesus Christ we must care about our words and Jesus made the point that the problem with our words has nothing to do with our mouths but with our hearts. Our character will be known by its fruit like it or not what comes out of your mouth it is fruit from the depths of your heart. Consider Matthew 12 33 through 37 which says either make the tree good or and its fruit good or make the tree bad and its fruit bad for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers. How can you speak good when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart comes the mouth

speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you on the day of judgment people will give an account for every careless word they speak for by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned. This This passage confronts us today in the same way it would have when Jesus addressed it to religious leaders in his day. Our words and speech and what we say and how we say it is a reflection of our hearts. And our words make it clear what kind of fruit is in our hearts. Bad character cannot produce good fruit.

Our words will justify or condemn us on a day of judgment. In the meantime, you are welcome to repent of the things that come out of your mouth that shouldn’t. Proverbs 28 13 says, whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes him will obtain mercy. Sooner or later, your heart will find you out. Excuse your words now, pretend like it was an accident or that you didn’t mean to say that, but your only way of escape is confessing and repenting of words and communication that smell like death. As we get into some verses from Proverbs about words and communication, consider what Proverbs commends or condemns and how you could seek God’s grace to make changes and apply wisdom so that your words would cultivate healthy relationships in your community whether that’s in the church or your home or even your neighbor’s next door. Because we reap what we sow our words matter. When we use our words to be life-giving it brings about a full and abundant life.

Now that doesn’t mean that there is never a time to say hard things in love, but it does mean that there is a way to communicate that builds up our body in love. And when that takes place, it is a good and tasty fruit that we enjoy together. Think about your own situations and relationships and how Proverbs might help you be a life giver rather than a life taker with your words and communication. Going first is hard, but you can only control how you respond and handle yourself. And who knows, maybe your communication is the problem, but communication conflicts are a way to glorify and honor God. We must strive to honor him with our words and communications. Let us get into some Proverbs. My first one is Proverbs 10 11 through 12 and I call this be a fountain of life with your words. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. When the righteous opens their mouth, they are, as Matthew Henry says, a well of life. They become a source of

refreshment to those who hear their words. Their words become fruitful like a tree planted by streams of water. Proverbs 4.23 gives us this idea. It says, keep your heart with all villages, for from it flow the springs of life. Unlike a garden let go that becomes full of weeds, the righteous keep their heart weeds from choking out the spring that flows from their heart. The difference between the righteous and wicked is a love that leads to life versus a hatred that stirs up strife. What is in your heart will be exposed. It may take time but it will be known. But you will be known by your fruit. This is not to say that the wise and righteous never blow it. They actually blow it all the time, but they are quick to repent and stop sinfully using their words and speech. Learn how to answer. Proverbs 1528 says, the heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. You have to control your tongue and tame it from spreading forest fires. A wicked man here is proved by the evil that pours out of his mouth.

There are times when we will be humbled and have to give an answer. Here is where the righteous season their answer with grace that it may go well with God and whom they are accountable to. Proverbs 14 27 says, the fear of the Lord is a fountain of life that one may turn away from the snares of death. The enemy of your soul wants to trap you and knock you down that you may never get back up. The fear of the Lord is what we must remember every time we let an answer pour out of our mouths. Turn away from wrath. Proverbs 15 1 says a soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Bringing a harsh word is the best way to ruin any family gathering. Our ego and pride often get in the way and keep us from humbling our responses.

How dare you say that or we think highly of ourselves and question if they know who they’re talking to. Often people want to get back at others with their responses. The tongue is like a hot match on the side of the road in Eastern Washington in July. James 3 5 through 6 tells us, so also the tongue is a small member yet a boast of great things. How great a force is set ablaze by such a small fire and the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, standing the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. The destruction our tongues are capable of doing is unmeasurable.

The tongue that is not controlled will be full of anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk. How easy it is to bite and devour one another and end up being consumed by one another. The taste buds of those who have out of control tongues cannot taste that the Lord is good. If they did, they would not speak the words of unkindness to those around them. Stop flattering one another. Proverbs 26, 28 says, a lying tongue hurts its victims and a flattering mouth works ruin. Some like to puff up others for the sake of their agenda. They feed them with excessive compliments and to gain some kind of favor. I say a good friend would rather punch you in the face than flatter you.

Proverbs 27 6 says, Faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy. Seek to use your words to encourage others and build them up. Otherwise you will only work ruined in your relationships. Proverbs 16 13 directs us in a better way. It says righteous lips are the delight of a king and he loves him who speaks what is right. While we are not kings, we should be people who delight in what is right and true. Our mouths should demonstrate that every time we open them. Matthew Henry says, here is further character of good kings that they love and delight in those that speak right. They have parasites and those that flatter them and are very willing that all of them should deal faithfully with them and tell them what is true, whether it is pleasing or displeasing, both concerning persons and things, that everything should be set in true light and nothing disguised.”

End quote. Now flattering your friends is no way to be a good friend. It is a way to, it’s actually, you’re just being selfish and wanting to pursue something that you’re wanting so you think puffing people up will get what you want, but in the end it comes back on you. Be a loyal friend. Proverbs 11, 12 through 13 says, whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. Whoever goes about slander and reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps the thing covered.

We cannot be faithful and loyal friends when we have contempt for our neighbors and even go as far as to slander them for any reason. The wise person remains silent in such insults and remains faithful in keeping anything covered. We must be accountable to one another for the details of our life that we share. In one way, if you are not part of the problem or solution, staying clear of such interactions would be best. I would encourage you to go talk to the source of the problem. It’s typically what I would encourage. If someone is coming and having a problem with someone over here, like, I don’t need to be a part of that.

You can go talk to them. I mean, it really, oftentimes people are willing to say something when someone else is not around. So when you push them to go engage the other person, it actually is helpful, not only for the community, but for them, because they know that you won’t put up with that. How would you feel if what you shared with a friend was revealed to another? It doesn’t build trust in the community or in any relationship. Proverbs 17, nine says, Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. This is the way to keep peace with one another. When love can cover an offense, it is the best course for peace with our neighbor.

Those who expose what can be covered will cut off close friends. Become an active listener. Proverbs 18, 13 and 15 says, if one gives an answer before he hears it is folly and and shame. An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. This is when someone interrupts another before they finish their sentence. It is a lack of humility to speak when you should be listening. It also fails to show regard for the person speaking. You never know what knowledge might be shared, and you only bring yourself all in shame, rushing to spout your answer. This goes in line with Proverbs 19-20, which says, listen to advice and accept instruction that you may gain wisdom in the future.

Part of learning how to communicate well is to learn to be an active listener. Those who love to hear themselves talk are the worst people to converse with. I often like to remind myself that God gave me one mouth and two ears, so I should listen more. Keep watch over your lips. Proverbs 21, 23 says, whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. It is amazing how one can keep themselves out of trouble if they watch the door of their lips. We often get ourselves in trouble because of something we should not have said or shared. Matthew Henry says, quote, those that would keep their souls must keep a watch before the door of their lips, must keep the mouth by temperance, that no forbidden fruit go into it, no stolen waters, that nothing be eaten or drunk to excess.

They must keep their tongue also, that no forbidden word go out of the door of the lips, no corrupt communication. By a constant watchfulness over our words, we shall prevent abundance of mischiefs, which an ungoverned tongue runs men into. Keep thy heart, and that will keep thy tongue from sin. Keep thy tongue, and that will keep thy heart from trouble.” End quote. Bring a good word. Proverbs 1225 says, anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down but a good word makes him glad. Proverbs 15 4 says, a gentle tongue is a tree of life but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

And Proverbs 16 24, gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. You should know your Bible to encourage one another in their time of need. I love Philippians 4, 4 through 7 which says, Rejoicing the Lord always again I say rejoice let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I share that verse because we need to let our reasonableness be known and that will only happen as we dig into the Word and let it season us so that our words will be salty and effective in the lives of those we speak into. A good tongue should have a good word to bring healing and comfort to those who have hurt, who have been hurt in this world whether by people or situations. It should be a word to bring them life.

Matthew Henry uses the idea of words of seasonable advice. I like that. It is advice that God can use to move a sinner forward in hope and joy. God’s words are sweet to the soul and it is food for the weary saint so that they may be healed from broken bones that are caused by sin and rejoiced again in the Lord. Respond in truth. Proverbs 12, 17 through 19 says, whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence but a false witness utters deceit. There is one whose rash words are like sword thrust but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Truthful lips endure forever but a lying tongue is for a moment. We must learn to respond with truthful speech. Trustworthy character is what we are called to be in this world. We are to honestly represent what we know to be true in all situations and circumstances. Verse 18 reminds us that the tongue is life and death and words hurt on many levels, but the tongue of the wise brings healing and reconciliation. Wisdom finds a way to bring about what is right. The truth endures forever while a lie is for a moment. Ultimately, we can trust that God knows the truth and will find the liar out sooner or later, justice will be served. Do not lie. Proverbs 10 18, the one who conceals hatred has lion lips and whoever utters slander is a fool. Proverbs 12 22 says lion lips are an abomination to the Lord but those who act faithfully are his delight. One way people hide hatred is with lion lips. Lying is destructive to a relationship or a community. Relationships need truth to flourish. It is not to say that trust cannot be built back, but the fact that

someone lies to another says they have no love for them and any good relationship cannot stand on a foundation of lies. If someone comes to you with a concern and you tell them things are fine when they are not, you need to repent and learn to be honest with those in your life. Those who love the Lord must be faithful to his people. So where do we go from here? Well I would encourage you to start considering what communication problems you have. Where do you have to work? Like I have my own problems as you have your own problems and the way to start getting better at communicating in a way that honors the Lord is to just continue to practice where you either struggle or you know where you need to get better. I remember when I first became a Christian before I used to love to lie, but it came a time in my life where I mean even seeing a white lie just brought too much pain into my soul and the Lord taught me not to lie. So at that point I realized that I also was probably a faring man, but I

stopped lying and learned how to just tell the truth and at first it was difficult and hard but as I practiced that more and more it became easy and I was more confident in when when I addressed people and brought the truth.

Because if you line is just something that you got to run from even in your communication like you know oftentimes like I don’t know what I was gonna say but there is there’s a way when you bring words that if you’re paying attention to the people that you’re speaking to. You should know if it’s bringing life or death, if it, you know, looks like you’re pouring salt down her throat, like you probably should stop, like come up with some new way of approaching it or humbling yourself to consider that maybe the way you’re saying things are right but you’re just using the wrong way. I mean there are different methods to communicate. What is getting in the way of you making progress with your communication, whether that’s with your wife or your kids or your next-door neighbor? And in progress I’m asking what do you need to do to handle yourself so that you can get through your problem without a failure of nerve and respond in a way that honors the Lord? Oftentimes I tell people that our joy

should not be hinged on the response of someone else. That just causes you more problems and you end up having, you know, you probably will say some things you don’t want to say. So learn to have a joy that’s solid in the Lord and hard for people to cut that cord. Often our attitudes and mouths get in the, get out of control because of our egos. Ego and pride, our communication and relationship progress killers like your ego will keep you from telling the truth you you have to really humble yourself especially when you’re wrong or you say something that you shouldn’t you really it does take humility to come forth and own that but you actually build a better audience when you do that because like people are paying attention they know when you have said something you shouldn’t have said, or when you’ve set a comment that’s biting, or you’re trying to start a fire.

And so, oftentimes, if you are, I think, someone has said if you’re a wet sponge, it’s hard to light a match, so be a wet sponge. Someone said, someone said or did something and it rubbed you the wrong way, and you failed to go to them in love and talk to them. And if they come to you, you fail to fear the Lord and instead tell a liar something to smooth things out instead of moving through and leaning into conflict. You know, we need to learn to not be afraid of conflict. Conflict actually is good. It is a way to honor the Lord and to help us grow together. You know, iron sharpens iron. Well, if you’re avoiding conflict, it’s like running around with a dull knife.

You will not sharpen anybody and you will not be a better person because of the conversations you’re having. But when you learn to, you know, just approach conflict and deal with that, let’s say you fail, great, we’ll get better next time. You can always grow and get better, but to say that you don’t want to approach somebody because you don’t like conflict is a bad excuse.

actually shows that you have a problem with your own ego. Two go-to passages that I go to for communication encouragement. The first one is Colossians 3, 12 through 15. Put on then as God’s chosen ones holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you were called in one body and be thankful.” End 1 Corinthians 13 4 through 8a. Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not arable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. Your heart is the problem. My heart’s the problem. Kind of like what Sean was saying this morning in confession, garbage in, garbage out. If you are thinking garbage about anyone, it is going to work out of your heart, your mind and your mouth in a negative way and real life on life leads towards each other not a way. You will never move toward one another with hatred in your heart for others. I mean that’s why I love taking communion weekly is because you know it exposed that in my own heart where like if you have a problem with someone like it’s you can’t really take communion so you need to deal with that and I more and more appreciate the weekly communion because it allows me to continue to keep my focus on the body here and making sure that I don’t have any ill thoughts towards people and if I do that I’m at least dealing with that and figuring that out on my own heart. I do remember a time years ago when I was

talking to a friend and being negative about someone and probably looking for him to validate my feelings. This faithful brother asked me if I was hoping for the best in the person and situation and I was not and because of his wife’s counsel it actually pushed me to repent and to think differently and since then that’s why I love 1 Corinthians. Since then I cannot but hope the best in people and want to think that you know they’re actually trying to do something good you know rather than think negatively. I mean you got to to pretty good lengths to get me to think that you got problems like that. And things turned out better and I learned how to be a faithful friend that day.

And my friend pointed me to a way to handle it in a way that was good for the body, instead of just listening and not encouraging me. In your communication problems, what would Jesus do in your given situation? I mean asking yourself what Jesus would do is helpful. I know sometimes people think that’s too cliche, but I think about it. Like, what would Jesus want me to do? You know, is this handling this person, this conversation in a way that Jesus would want me to? And if not, I’d need to repent. Yeah, and there are people that go around for counsel and have no desire or intention to do the right thing. If someone comes to you for counsel, you should probably check back in and make sure that they are doing what they came asking for, you know, because it’s just a waste of time to give counsel that someone has no intention of doing anything with.

Are you praying? The best way to handle relationship and communication problems is to rest, pray for help from the Lord and then to move forward, showing up, putting things that would strengthen your communication into practice. Oftentimes, whether it’s my wife, Jolie, who’s had problems or myself, I’m not one to quickly rush into conflict. I actually want to pray about it. Maybe the Lord will resolve it. Maybe I have the problem. Maybe it’s something I can roll off my back or maybe it’s something I do need to confront, but it takes time for me to discern that and I’m not one to take quick steps running towards, you know, fighting and devouring because typically no one really does like to be confronted except me, I guess.

But if you do it in a winsome way, which I will always say most people that need to be corrected don’t find it winsome period. They actually hate that. And you will get, you know, rubbed the wrong way. But oftentimes, there is a way to show that you do love somebody and the fact that you’re actually going to somebody and addressing an issue with your communication or their communication shows that you do love because hatred would not engage. And like I said don’t be afraid of conflict fear the Lord to consider what love would do in your situation. Sometimes people will not respond with grace and love and that’s on them. You were called to be faithful to the Lord and his people. Ask Ask questions rather than make accusations.

Remember that our words are either knitting our hearts together or working ruin, so we just, we need to watch your mouth. I’m gonna pray. Father, thank you for the word. May you use it to continue to encourage me again. But just, you know our hearts, you know the communication conflicts we have, you know where we need to be strengthened, where we need to grow, where we need more nerve or even more gentleness. And so Lord, I just pray that you would continue to shape and mold us to be more like you. You know what you’re doing with each of us. And I pray that each of us would be content and find grace in your providence as we continue to look in the mirror, consider the character that we are and how we can do better, not only for your church for when you come back, but also for the holiness and the peace of our relationships. So continue to knit our hearts together and thank you again in Jesus’ name, amen.

Remember that our words are either knitting our hearts together or working ruin, so we just, we need to watch your mouth. I’m gonna pray. Father, thank you for the word. May you use it to continue to encourage me again. But just, you know our hearts, you know the communication conflicts we have, you know where we need to be strengthened, where we need to grow, where we need more nerve or even more gentleness. And so Lord, I just pray that you would continue to shape and mold us to be more like you. You know what you’re doing with each of us. And I pray that each of us would be content and find grace in your providence as we continue to look in the mirror, consider the character that we are and how we can do better, not only for your church for when you come back, but also for the holiness and the peace of our relationships.